The Rights of a Skater

I've been meaning to do this post for a long time. Maybe cos too many people have heard me angst about it and I thought I should just write it down for easy reference next time. 


Some background, I accumulated this over the (relatively short) skating life that I've had, mostly during the long hours I spent at the park and skating in general. And its also a product of a very boring Sunday afternoon at home. Ok fine, its mostly the product of my boredom and randomness. Anyway, here I present...


The Rights of A Skater
A skater, or any self propelled person on 8 wheels, ought to have rights. What most people don't notice is that skating is a discipline on its own complete with certifications, competitions and even technologies. Hence, the skater, being part of a proud network of likeminded people just a skate away ought to protected by a common set of rights. 
Like any rights system, if the skater shows no regard for the rights of another skater, then his rights can too be infringed upon in order to preserve the sanctity (im pretty sure I used that word wrongly, ahh, nvm) of the rights themselves. 
Hence, below summarises the 10 basic rights of a skater. 


A SKATER HAS A RIGHT TO A CLEAR ROAD
Everyone thinks a skater just needs a clear road because they are going to suicidally blast down it with no consideration for their or anyone elses safety. But frankly, I can live with rocks on the road, I can live with twigs everywhere but skaters do have a right to a clear road, devoid of living things. Oh yes, living things. I'm sick and tired of having to screech to a halt behind families who INSIST on walking 5 or 6 abreast along the park roads. And of course they jump aside and swear at the "children these days". And the dogs who think I'm some mega cat on wheels. And the kids in front of you, who at the last minute decide to wander across the path straight in front of you. Honestly. 
A SKATER HAS A RIGHT TO DECENT TERRAIN
What is the main difference between a bike and a pair of skates? Apart from the fact that 8 wheels definitely cooler than 2, the difference is terrain.  Think of bikers as your crazy domineering saigang warrior friend/sibling/classmate/self they can get to most places but they tend to trample over everything and get there way too fast. Then think of skates as your great friend ruth here. See the difference? 
Anyway, to put skates on sand, or grass, or those roads that haven;t been paved for too long is sad and painful both to watch and also for the skater. Optimistically, you might get a free mudbath and footmassage if you think about it that way. 
A SKATER HAS A RIGHT TO DECENT TRAINING AREA 
I know, you are going to point to the skate parks and say that we do. And i guess we have improvised enough areas for this. I mean, who would have known that slalom is possible in front of central because of the uneven flooring. Or who would have known that you have about 15 minutes to skate in an mrt station before getting angsted. Or who would have known that carparks are a viable wet weather alternative except its bloody slippery up there? 
A SKATER HAS A RIGHT TO SKATING COMPANY 
Yeah, its sad to skate without a community of skaters. I mean, what would I be without them? 
But apart from that, I mean people to teach too. Its hilarious sometimes when I'm in the park and I see a stereotypical couple who decided to try skating: HE thinks he knows how to skate cos he tried it once or twice before but SHE is very sure she can't. SHE wears her skates and clings onto HIM and they sorta try to move forward. I guess they think its a real sweet romantic moment because HE looks very macho bringing HER around when she is so scared. But because she is behind him, grabbing his shoulders for dear life, SHE cannot see that in fact HE has a look of panic on his face because he can barely stay balanced too. But I guess, lost in their love for each other, they can't really see that they can barely make it past 100m and that all the skaters going past are laughing. 
A SKATER HAS A RIGHT TO REFRESHMENTS 
This reminds me of all those people who chase skaters out of convenience shops even as we tower above them taller by 80mm (or 100mm if its speed skates). To all of them, we are just as likely to knoc down your installation artpiece made from evian bottles as a five year old kid is. Do you stop every toddler outside? Then don't stop us. Come on, we are thirsty and we're good business. 
I recently went to Pasir Ris and saw a BK and a Macs next to each other, neither commanding the major share of the market (oh yeah, i know econs ok) and do you want to know why? DO YOU WANT TO KNOW WHY??! It is because neither allowed skaters in. Yep, each had a circle with the outline of skates and a strike-though so Quad Drat Demonstrandum, want business? let the skaters in. 
A SKATER HAS A RIGHT TO SPEED AND TRICKS 
Don't assume that once we start doing criss-crosses on the road, once we try to jump over the bumps, once we try to slide to a stop instead of screeching or once we start blasting faster than a bike, that we are trying to act cool. 


That's so not true. 


I mean


we ARE cool. 
A SKATER HAS A RIGHT TO AN ALLEN KEY AND BEARING CLEANER
All those sad sad skates which died at the hand of sand, rust and mud. I remember my first pair of skates practically dripped brown stuff when I first used bearing cleaner on it. Then again, its probably because I threw the entire wheels, bearings and all, into water to wash it. I vaguely remember one time where I wondered why I lost in catching to the other kids and i realised only 4 of my 8 wheels could actually turn more than one round without jamming on all the dust. 
A SKATER HAS A RIGHT TO GOOD SKATE SHOPS 
I remember a lesson in skates that I learnt from aloysius: 


"hey aloysius, I wanna buy new skates, tell me about skates." 
"well, (points to skates in shop), what kind of frame do you want? There are aluminum frames and composite frames. See this shiny frame, its aluminum. See this black colour one, the one that looks like plastic? That's composite." 
"(i look at my skates) you mean, like mine?" 
"...no ruth...yours IS plastic. 


I think sport shops shouldnt sell skates unless they know what they are doing or you just end up scamming the public and they get lousy skates. I mean, sure la, its abit cheaper, but those skates are not good for most things I think. Its like filling milk bottles with rice water. The baby gets full but will never grow well and it caps the potential of the person. How sad. 
A SKATER HAS A RIGHT TO SPORTING RECOGNITION 
Skating is a sport! Come on! Why don't they have it in school? =sobs=
A SKATER HAS A RIGHT TO FUN 
As fundamental as that sounds, its not always true. If I have learnt nothing from skateline but one thing, it is that when you skate, forget about how many tricks you know and stressing yourself to learn them. If you want to feel bad there is always Faussi and WeiJie and WeiJing there to show you what only gods can do. If you want to feel good there are always retarded wipeout skater couples. 
So, for all of you unenlightened people of the non-skating world, listen up, unless you try it, you will never know. And if you are some WHINER then its ok, just don't wetblanket the fun of all the skaters. 


And thus concludes the rights of a skater! Maybe one day this will become a set of laws.