Thoughts about the future are often plagued with scars from the past. It's becoming more real now than it has ever been before.
Every time I try to fly, I fall.
Without your wings I feel so small.
I guess I need you baby.
And every time I see you in my dreams
I see your face, it's haunting me.
I guess I need you baby.
Cheesy lyrics are strangely applicable. To people and to events.
People think that I always have some funny or sarcastic or witty comment whatever the situation. Even when I am emo, people expect my emoness to resolve itself quickly. I guess most of the time I live up to expectations and resolve stuff, or run away from stuff and I wake up the next day the funny eccentric me again.
Why is it so shocking that I can be upset? Why can't I be disappointed about things and sulk at all? Why does everyone think that just because I never cried in front of them before, means that I don't cry at all?
I'm sorry that I have failed my wonderful upbringing and near-perfect genes. I'm sorry that I am nowhere close to fulfilling my job as the eldest grandchild, daughter and sister. I'm sorry I disappoint.
I give up thinking about the future already. I give up trying to believe and hope. For now at least.
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