So many times one thinks about blogging about epic stuff, only to realise it is not right to be posting such stuff in public domains. I guess this is my feeble attempt to explain why this blog went dead for so long: because I can't post about scholarships.

Though, I guess all is good now and I am happy (enough) with my scholarship...so I am free to post about it as I please :D

Yes, I am a nerd with no social-life, yes, I am probably not going to fit in too well at work and yes, this is a career path I'm pretty sure I was not anticipating as I left JC. But hey, its a scholarship, I'm with (some semblance of) good friends, I think I'll be alright at doing the work they do and my parents will be happy.

...and when all else fails, I can ignore my position and laugh at the rest being no-lifing nerds xD

I'll be home tomorrow, about a thousand miles too far away.

It's always sad the day before a holiday ends. I guess I can handle the thoughts about returning to hectic Singapore, finding a job, trying to busy myself with various activities and all, I mean, like my sister would say, I don't have school to go back to right? But, this holiday just seemed so different than all the others I have had. At some points, it seems that it has dragged too long: everyone's tolerance for each other is starting to wear thin and undone things at home are starting to pile up. Yet, at other points, it feels like somethings were not done.

Though, I guess its just a little mushy feeling that catches up with me late at night...afterall, I had lots of fun and bonding time with my family. People finally know where Uchicago is (no kidding, its NOT in California?!?!?!), we actually have time to talk and cuddle...and I am back to sharing a bed (and many scuffles) with my sister. yay.

Something is just a little scary about going back for this last leg before I finally leave for college. Am I in the right place with respect to God? Or my family? Or myself? Or will somethings resist resolution? Or will these random collections of emotion start things I cannot solve in time?

Ahhh well I guess we all do overthink things sometimes.

"Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life? ... Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own."

hmmmm...

I was blogsurfing today and realised that I my blog is really crappy. really really crappy. I'm just ranting instead of providing insight and poetry and sweet thoughts to my readers. 

No wonder I have no readers. 

Ah well, the US is awesome. To anyone who said that Oakland is a dangerous part of town, you're wrong. Ok no, you are right but narrow-minded. True, I have seen 2 "missing person" posters since I arrived a week ago, the fire truck blares its sirens as it passes my place at least once a day and the city is very clearly marked with its "good spots" and "bad spots", but its still one damn nice place. 

I'm not just talking about the view here, (though lake merritt IS the most awesome things to wake up to in the morning) I'm saying that there is a completely different way people live. It's not just the pace of life, nor just the completeness, nor just the flow of it. It is like people here dance to a different melody as in Singapore. 

It is the way every car in a line of 5 will wave at us and let us cut in when we are in the wrong lane. It is the way conversation is about people and not things. It is the way there is pride to living even without money. It is the way life is about making others look at that single cause of yours and not making the way others look at you the single rule of life. It is the way people smile like their world is complete when you smile instead of furrowing their brows in jealousy or puzzlement. Its the way people live big and dream small. 

Now I just need my sister to be here and life will be complete. In the meanwhile I bought her a bottle with this design  :D

boopdeboopdeboop. Off to New York tomorrow! yay :D