I'm alright.

Just a kiss on your lips in the moonlight,

Just a touch and the fire's burning so bright

I don't want to mess this thing up,

I don't want to push too far.

Just a shot in the dark that you just might,

Be the one I've been waiting for my whole life

So baby I'm alright, with just a kiss goodnight.

Ahhh this song seems to be sweeping over everyone like an annoyingly long and cold Chicago rain: It's cleansing but somewhat chilling. Almost as if it washes over you and reminds you of the empty spaces within yourself. Yes, I'm being strangely poetic tonight, but as some may say, it's vaguely warranted today, especially, since it's, you know, it's today!

Mmmph.

School has been delightfully slow-paced in getting started, but I get the nagging feeling it is the calm before a massive storm...hm. Like the last training-level in a game before the zombies start jumping out and outnumbering you 100 to 1. Let us take stock:

Survive O-week - Achievement Unlocked!

Go to a frat-party - Achievement Unlocked! (But never to be repeated)

Walk downtown Chicago 4 times in 1 day - Achievement Unlocked!

Buy 11 pairs of new socks - Achievement Unlocked!

Visit a Chicago home - Achievement Unlocked!

Reheat pizza in my oven - Achievement Unlocked! (Extra points for not burning down the building in the process :D )

Decide that Uchicago is definitely where I belong - Achievement Unlocked!

Calculating if more of uchicago walls are visibly stone or ivy - In progress.

Freshmen 15 - Definitely in progress.

Managing finances and getting all the bank stuff in order - In progress (I'm not an Econ major, give me a break.)

Preparing for a school year - In progress (hey, I read "V for Vendetta" to remind myself how to read!)

Surviving classes - Just starting

Getting a social life - Can I do this tomorrow?

Not joining another bridge club - Failed.

Tacos for the uninitiated!

Hello my blogspot readers (or lack there of). This post, in addition to being my 134th piece of trash to lend on the internet via blogspot, is also the DAWN OF A NEW ERA (of trash). This post has also been posted on etremanque.tumblr.com, a completely NEW BLOG to take over some of my trashiness. Its a joint blog between my sister and I for when I'm overseas and we lack each other's randomness to keep us alive hurhurhur. So, my non-existent readers, I suggest you start reading that one too. I'll continue to fill this blog with my personal trash but that one will be getting a fair share of it too (I mean, with my sister's help, of course ^^).

Anyway I’ve been in Chicago for quite a few days now and its pure awesome. Yesterday, the international students went down to Michigan Avenue, Navy Pier and all that cool jazz. But, as I always say, outings are more about the people than about the place so yesterday’s highlight must be eating Tacos at Chipotle.

Let me begin by introducing the people at the table. There was Jason (aka Zhansheng), Tyler (aka Tianyu), Emma (aka Kejia) and Ruth (aka The Awesome). Apart from me trying very hard to calling them by their oh-so-cool english names, much hilarity ensued in the taco-eating department.

Calamity 1: Without much experience in the taco-eating business, we all took advice from Jason about what to order. Emma was very enthused by the idea of getting a bowl. A “bowl”, so it turns out, refers to a bowl of rice and not its ceramic container. Meanwhile, it was possible to order rice as a topping on the bowl of rice. I figure Emma was as confused as I was and eventually settled for a Taco. Which Jason assured us was the “easiest to eat”. This brings us to…

Calamity 2: THEY AREN’T EASY TO EAT. I had one with cheese, sourcream and guacamole which SHOULD hold together

…but my hands were covered in goo afterwards anyway. Emma said that she’d rather have sat next to me so that she would not need to watch the “unglam”-ness from opposite the table.

Calamity 3: Tyler. Tyler is an ultimate fail. He ordered a VEGGIE taco which is made up of cooked bell peppers and spices from what I could tell. So that stuff hardly had the promise of sticking together. In addition, he put rice and beans in it so you can guess how it held together. Long story short, as the corn-y (TEEHEE) material fell apart, it went from being a hard shell taco to a soft shell taco to a burrito to an off-shape salad with sad limpy excuses for cornbread. But hey, he paid for 1 meal and managed to try all the options at chipotle right?

Just before going to the airport...

After a day of talking and wishing and thinking and wondering...I guess there is nothing left but to pray. I'm very rarely so sappy on this blog but

Let this be our prayer, when shadows fill our days...

Lead us to a place, guide us with Your grace,

To a place where we'll be safe.

I will never forget how far my family has come and what a lovely family I come from. And, of course, all the people I have had the pleasure of meeting in my 19 years.

With God, Family and Friends, what can go wrong, right?

"I will start packing tomorrow"

I've been saying that to myself for the past...month. At least. Thank goodness I have a large extended family who take particular joy in fluttering around and helping me to buy things...which makes me need to decide what to buy. It's actually quite funny because I'll procrastinate to the point where I find myself going out to "buy stuff" while not having decided what to buy. The upside of this is that most of the time I can figure it out. The downside of this is that while I'm figuring it out, people pick me out stuff in pink.

Ahwell, I'm sure the colour will grow on me.

It was Mooncake Festival Dinner tonight. I know I rarely blog about specific events and recount stuff but, knowing its the last time I'll eat my mom's homecooked vegetables, my grandma's crabs (which she killed herself then spent 2 hours cleaning :O) and my auntie's duck for a long time makes me kinda sad. I guess its a bit like this song:

And if that joy, that thrill,

Doesn't thrill like you think it will, still,

With this perfect finale, the cheers and

The ballyhoo, who, who,

Couldn't be happier?

No, I, couldn't be happier.

Because happy is what happens

When all your dreams come true.

Isn't it? Happy is what happens,

When your dreams come true.

Go listen to Kristen Chenoweth sing it and you'll truly get the melancholy of it all. Now that I'm finally getting everything I've been working for, its actually not as happy as you think it would be. I have to admit, finally, that I have a family that is epic and loving to the max. As much as I find it uncomfortable, it is touching that they love me to bits. Every. Single. One. And that sort of makes me want to stop moping around and REALLY start getting it all together tomorrow. I haven't loved them enough in my time here and I will make it up by making them bloody proud of me.

...I hope.

:')

My heart is running on empty,

One more day and then we'll go

Still, the time goes on now,

Don't ask me how, I don't know.

We'll be home tomorrow,

About a thousand miles too far away

Say you won't forget and I'll be okay.

At least tonight, its just you and me

And honestly, that's everything I need.

I don't want to fall out,

but we're all out of time.

One day, no way you'll be mine.

(Don't want an ending)

Tonight's a countdown

Till the day we're not around.

And you're gone, and we're

on with our lives.

(Don't want an ending)

Don't want an ending.

The days turn to hours,

It's just a moment before they go.

I'm scared to say goodbye cos'

What's after that, I don't know.

As the years slip past us

If we lose track or lose the fight

I will search forever to

Find a way back, to tonight.

When it's just you and me

And honestly, that's everything I need.

How did these few days just slip past like that? I guess the reality only really struck when I got a surprise 2-minute 20-second long call from Japan. A reality that makes heavy, full tears fall, a reality that makes this 39-hour long stretch of waking time even more sleepless...but nonetheless a reality that makes me smile.

Looking back, I would not have had it any other way; it has been the most epic adventure I have had in a long time. Clinging on can't keep a person beside you, but a commitment to love can keep a person in your heart. I am happy that you are on your way to fulfilling your dreams, and, soon, I hope to do so too.

There is no greater joy in knowing that we can fly free without needing to fly solo.

...time to keep telling myself that.

till it hurts.

If I've said it once, I've said it a million times: God has a great sense of humour.

The more I try to let go of it all and move on from this epic portion of life to the next epic portion of life, the more it clings on to me and reminds me how much love exists where I thought none did. And since God is love, His sudden reemergence in my life is most sudden and, needless to say, most epic. It's almost...seemingly untimely.

My heart hasn't hurt for a long time and if I can't stop it from hurting, I'm going to stop it from breaking. Leaving family and friends behind is proving much harder than I thought it would. As is leaving certain specific friends to fly off to their other parts of the world to study. But this promise I'll make to myself: airports are not for crying.

Anyway, people tell me God knows best and...all this emotion...I guess better late than never?